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Love + Relationships with Beverly Cummings

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Change-up the boring, old missionary position with this position from the Kama Sutra Seductions Deck.

The Turning Union with Man on Top

The woman lies on her back with her legs out and slightly spread.
The man lies on top of her and puts his lingam into her yoni (missionary style). Slowly, and carefully, he turns himself around
so his head is between her feet and his feet are on either side of her shoulders. The lingam should stay in the yoni during this transition. After enjoying his woman for a while, he turns slowly around, back to the beginning.

SEDUCTIONS

The idea of this position is to go very slowly, ensuring the lingam doesn’t fall out of the yoni. If the lingam does fall out, simply return to the previous position and try again.

The man will likely be unable to thrust in the turned phase of the position. The woman can squeeze her yoni or gently move underneath him. His lingam will be hitting the back of her yoni, however, and depending on size, it may be difficult for her to move at all. Rocking gently, pulsing, milking, and squeezing by the woman can all add erotic sensation for the man.

Keep in mind that when the man is turned around, this position can be uncomfortable or even painful for the woman. Feel free to stop at any time. It is always important to be aware of each other’s bodies and the sensations you are feeling, never going further than you’re comfortable with.

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Reawaken your desire by discovering the magic of Kama Sutra.

Do you and your lover feel stuck in the same old sex routine, but aren’t sure how to escape it?

The Kama Sutra Seductions Deck is the answer to your pleas for passion. Featuring 64 cards, each containing an erotic pose from the sacred art of Kama Sutra, this take-anywhere deck is sure to bring you pleasure beyond your wildest dreams!

On the front of each card, you’ll find an illustrative photograph of a particular Kama Sutra pose—from the sultry Splitting of the Bamboo to the adventurous Tripod. On the back of each card, detailed instructions explain just how to maneuver into each position.

Perfect for anyone looking to add some fiery flavor to the bedroom, The Kama Sutra Seductions Deck is your essential guide to prolonged ecstasy!

Not everyone likes dirty talk and that’s okay. But sometimes there are folks who WANT to like it, but can’t get past something. Here’s an exercise from Yvonne Fulbright that might help you to work through your hangup and find a new level of passion. 

Personal Inhibitors that Become Passion Killers

You likely know them well—those personal inhibitors that trump our ability to talk about sex or have sexy talk. They read like a rap sheet: body image issues, feelings of anxiety, shame, guilt about sex and sexual expression, and problems experiencing touch and affection. The damage done is enormous. Anyone suppressing their sexuality and desires may worry that they’ll seem naïve when talking sexy. They may feel vulnerable, scared, or uncomfortable at the prospect of emotionally exposing themselves. Others may worry about being dismissed, misunderstood, or unheard. All of this goes for those with a great deal of sexual experience and very little alike.

Trip knows how difficult and nerve wracking it is for some to talk about their sexual wants, needs, fears, and issues: “we don’t engage in sexy talk very often, honestly—not as often as I would like, and certainly not as often as we should. My lover suffers from depression, body, self-confidence, and in turn, libido issues. All of this causes problems in our relationship, though she refuses to acknowledge it. I try to explain to her that my desire for erotic talk is about reclaiming our lost intimacy and not about the lost sexual satisfaction or release. I feel the need to be intimate and wish she’d at least be willing to talk about how we can be truly sexually intimate again.”

Personal inhibitions can quickly extinguish erotic talk efforts, putting out any hope in our ability to make sex better. If sex talks are awkward, difficult, ultimately unsatisfying, and anything but sexy, they all too easily make better sex a backburner effort instead of a priority.

But if you’re determined to benefit from everything this book has to offer you and your relationship, both of you need to tackle what’s at play, despite feeling intimidated or uncomfortable. You need to learn how to express your “stuck” emotions and unmet or unacknowledged needs positively if you expect to coax your sexual nature as never before. This starts with not allowing yourselves to feel guilty or shameful for wanting sensual and sexual pleasure; it’s something we all have a right to pursue and enjoy.

Exercise: Sex Musings

TIME: 30 minutes

LUST-INDUCING LOCATION: anywhere you can be alone with your thoughts (e.g., on a blanket in a park or in your private study space)

MATERIALS: journal and pen

PEAKING POTENTIAL: 0.5—some reflections can awaken your libidinal energy

For this exercise, we’re going to deal with the energy drainers blocking you when it comes to expressing yourself sexually. Journaling can be a very effective way to sort through your thoughts, get your feelings out there, and shed light on how to move forward. You may want to run through this list in a single sitting, or you may prefer to focus on one item at a time, returning to the others when you feel recharged and ready to examine underlying issues at play. Consider this personal reflection one of the best sex gifts you can ever give to yourself. Address these topics in your journaling:

1. What are your earliest memories of the opposite sex, same sex, nudity, and genitals?

2. What are your earliest memories about the sexual atmosphere in your home (e.g., nudity, sleeping habits, bathing, masturbation)?

3. How did you learn about vaginal-penile intercourse? Anal intercourse? Oral sex? What did you think of each initially? Over time?

4. What was puberty like for you (e.g., first ejaculation or first menstrual period, growing up with social pressure, body changes)?

5. Write about your first love. (note: anything goes, even a pet or teacher.)

6. How do your feelings about your body play into your ability to be verbally and nonverbally expressive with a lover?

7. Do you express or contain your sexual energy as it builds? Why do you react in such a way?

8. How would you describe your sexual self, or the sexual/erotic side of your personality?

9. What would you identify as energy drains when it comes to realizing your full sexual potential? Consider your gender, sexual orientation, religious teachings, parental messaging, peer influences, etc.

10. What sorts of behaviors, sensations, emotions, circumstances, etc., would make for some of the best sex of

Your life? (in other words, what are the whos, whats, whens, wheres, and whys of different scenarios that turn you on?)

Feel insightful? Hopefully, your answers hold wisdom about what controls your sex life—understandings that you can use to change patterns, unlock emotions and desires, and derive more pleasure and excitement from your relationship.

Whether you keep your journal private or share your responses with a lover is up to you. Some people find it cathartic to burn these journal pages and fire up new passions, while others discover the upside of letting their partner in on their intimate thoughts, like Casey did: “my initial erotic talk effort was in the form of a journal entry written while my boyfriend was away on vacation without me. Although there were lots of very intimate thoughts not relating to sex, after he read the journal, the only thing that got mentioned was the sex talk bit and an exploration from him as to whether I would engage in my fantasy threesome. At least it was a start.”

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Get the book!

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If you’re newly pregnant and starting to get those sexy feelings, but aren’t sure the best way to get what you need, we’ve got the goods.

Cheat Sheet:

Positions and Techniques for Fun Playtime with your Pregnant Lover

Keep in mind that your lover is pregnant, not sick or fragile. In general, make sure that you both are comfortable and that you don’t put your full weight (or your lover’s) on her pregnant belly or too much pressure on her uterus. The following are suggestions for some hot preggo lovin’!

1. It’s your lucky day, boys. The overwhelmingly recommended best position from pregnant women is Doggy Style. It’s not rocket science to figure out why this might be so: Your sexy preggo lady on all fours with you saddled up behind and inside her gives her ample space for her belly (at any stage of pregnancy). Nice variations include her on the bed and you kneeling behind her, or her on the bed, but close to the edge, and you standing behind her. Do be careful, especially toward the end of her term, that you don’t penetrate too deeply if her cervix is sensitive, because this position allows for some incredible penetrative depth.

2. Standing Doggy Style is another position to try. Your partner stands and leans forward either on the bed, a chair, a table, or the back of the couch (whichever is most comfortable for her height). This position allows her to rest on whatever piece of furniture she’s leaning on, while you stand behind her and go to town.

3. In Side to Side, you both lie on your sides facing each other, she lifts one leg over your hip, and you enter her. This position works for most couples until the end of the term because you can angle her to accommodate her belly, and it’s also nice if you’re craving the intimacy of Missionary, but she can’t lie on her back.

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Get more tips about what to do during each trimester in the book:

Need to add some excitement in the bedroom? Have you ever tried watching yourselves? This move from Spectacular Sex Moves He’ll Never Forget shows you how. It’s pretty hot.

Up the sexual ante with this move. Do it standing in front of a dresser mirror. Lean forward, putting your weight on your hands, as he enters from behind.

The Preparations: Accessorize! Go shopping for fun little things that you can wear under your clothes to feel sexy and that will also make a generous gift to your lover that evening. For example, beads or pearls are beautiful and they can be wrapped around his cock for an exceptional blow job. (For more details on mind-blowing BJs, read my book Oral Sex He’ll Never Forget.) Other ideas include sparkly lotions, garter belts, remote-control panties, clip-on navel jewelry, press-on tattoos, or anything that he can touch, taste, or smell and that will send him straight to Orgasmville.

The Lead-in: You and your reflection are sexual dynamos. Let him see you slowly undressing in the mirror, feeling sexual and sensual.

Start the sensual moves from the head and work your way down to your toes. Run your fingers through your hair, lifting it off your shoulders. Glide your fingers from your ear down to the perky nipples of your breasts and let out a moan of pleasure.

Slowly remove your shirt and your bra, loving what you see in the mirror. Sexy thoughts fill your mind as you remove your panties.

If he did not look up when you moaned, try moaning louder. If he still doesn’t notice, involve him in the mirror play by asking him to put lotion on you.

When you are fully naked or wearing only your thigh-high stockings and high heels, bend down at the waist, as if looking for something.

Once he is in mirror view, tell him how you like to see him touching you. Be authentic and true when you tell him what you like.

The Foreplay:

1. Look in the mirror and watch how you inspire feelings of desire, attraction, significance, and safety.

2. Using the lotion or oil, touch your vulva, nipples, ass, or anyplace that gives you pleasure. Make sure whatever lotion or oil you use is sex-friendly so there are no limits to where the play can go.

3. Stick out your butt, reach through your legs, separate your labia, and invite him in. The Sexpert Says Lingerie is a flag that you wave to send signals to his brain that you got dressed up and beautiful because you want sex with him. But lingerie in itself is not sexiness. in fact, the actual definition is “women’s underwear”; basically, it is just material. But how you feel and what you bring to the material with your sensuality and confidence is what turns ordinary underwear into something hot.

The Main Act:

1. Ask him to be inside of you, to fuck or penetrate you, or however you prefer to phrase your request. Notice that first moment of insertion when he enters you.

2. Tilt your pelvis up and down to find what feels good.

3. Put your legs together for a more snug fit. If he pulls his penis all the way out, he will get the sensation on the head of his cock all the way down his shaft when he reenters.

4. Widen your stance and spread your legs open for a looser fit. He will feel the sensation more on the underside of his penis.

5. Power your booty by moving it forward and backward, receiving and resisting him. Extend your arms to offer more resistance, and move in the direction of his thrusts to receive him.

6. Contract your PC muscles to grip the shaft of his penis. Bear down a bit to give a looser feeling. Bearing down usually adds sensation to the head and makes him thrust faster and harder in fear of being ejected from the vagina.

7. Find a rhythm, contracting, tilting, and thrusting your way to orgasm.

Why it works for her: Unobstructed access to your G-spot and your hands free to rub your clit earns this position the first choice award.

Why it works for him: He can see your bodacious rear, your bouncing breasts, and your gorgeous face all in the same glance as he goes deliciously deep inside of you.

Related Moves: Take a few steps back from the mirror and turn to face him sitting on the bed. With no panties, in high heels, keep your legs straight as you bend at the waist to put his cock in your mouth. To give him a sensational mirror show, wear a really short skirt that draws his eyes further and further up your skirt with each dip down deep to the back of your throat. This variation will give him a look at himself being pleasured and a good view of your high-heeled, lengthened legs.

Ask him to be inside of you, to fuck or penetrate you, or however you prefer to phrase your request. Notice that first moment of insertion when he enters you.

Tilt your pelvis up and down to find what feels good.

Put your legs together for a more snug fit. If he pulls his penis all the way out, he will get the sensation on the head of his cock all the way down his shaft when he reenters.

Widen your stance and spread your legs open for a looser fit. He will feel the sensation more on the underside of his penis.

Power your booty by moving it forward and backward, receiving and resisting him. Extend your arms to offer more resistance, and move in the direction of his thrusts to receive him.

Contract your PC muscles to grip the shaft of his penis. Bear down a bit to give a looser feeling. Bearing down usually adds sensation to the head and makes him thrust faster and harder in fear of being ejected from the vagina.

Find a rhythm, contracting, tilting, and thrusting your way to orgasm.

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Discover the ultimate positions and techniques to take sex for him from tame to toe-curling with Spectacular Sex Moves He’ll Never Forget. This book gets you out of the bedroom—and onto the chandelier, under the table, into the car, and on the slide. Each of the 30 moves contains surprising elements and wild twists on “been there, done that” sex, resulting in unforgettable, mind-blowing pleasure.

Inside, you’ll find sexy scenarios like:

- The Slinging Dixie—A wild twist on car sex.

- The Hard Rock—Rocking chairs aren’t just for knitting.

- Head Over Wheels—A new way to ride a skateboard.

- Cloud—The definition of “Afternoon Delight.”

Sexy photography and detailed illustrations show you exactly how to perform each move like it’s been in your repertoire for years. Surprise him with the most satisfying sex of his live with Spectacular Sex Moves He’ll Never Forget!

It’s time to break those old, boring routines and get creative! This position from The Complete Photo Guide to Great Sex will help you and your partner become more spontaneous.

Position: Standing Spontaneity
Standing positions don’t have to be strenuous. Leaning against a sturdy surface leaves him free to concentrate on thrusting without the work of having to support all of her weight.

You won’t need to take off all of your clothes. In fact, it might be more arousing when you are half dressed. Try to have something she can lean against to support herself once you are engaged. Even having her bend over or sit on top of you while in the throes of a quickie can spark the imagination.

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The Complete Photo Guide to Great Sex is an exciting new look at great sex techniques. This revealing guide shows mind-blowing positions, incredible oral techniques, and new exciting things to try in 300 color photos and illustrations. Each technique is broken down in step-by-step photo sequences with instructive captions and text so you can learn—and see—every detail of the move from the angle of their hips to the placement of their hands and mouth. Discover everything you need to know for the most amazingly satisfying sex ever with The Complete Photo Guide to Great Sex.

Do you have preconceived thoughts about sex toys that are keeping you from spicing up your sex life? The Big Book of Sex Toys debunks all sex toy myths and may give you the push you need to try them out!

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1. Toys are for people who can’t get “the real thing.”


This myth evokes the stereotypical sex toy: the blow-up doll. It’s based on the notion that the only people who buy sex toys are those who don’t have a sexual partner or—worse yet—can’t get one (think antisocial loners and weirdos). Their only option for sexual pleasure is to use a toy as a “replacement” for a human being. Sex toys are not replacements for partners, and people don’t always use them instead of having sex. People from all walks of life, both single and partnered, use sex toys.

2. Toys are only for masturbation.

This myth is related to the first one and reinforces the idea that you only use toys by yourself. Sex toys are wonderful for solo pleasure, but they aren’t just for that special alone time! There are so many different kinds of toys, and most of them can be used not only alone, but also to bring fun, fantasy, variety, and inspiration to sex with your partner.

3. Toys are for folks who have sexual problems.
This myth originated in the days when doctors diagnosed women with sexual frigidity (and other nonsexual ailments) and prescribed vibrators to induce orgasms. It was helped along by the concept of “marital aids”—the old term used to describe sex toys—a phrase that persists to this day. The underlying theme here is that toys are made to fix problems and if you’re healthy, you don’t need them. What a load of bull! Although toys can certainly help people with a variety of sexual issues, from low libido to erectile dysfunction, that’s not their only purpose.

4. If my wife gets her hands
 on a vibrator, she won’t need
me anymore.
They may not admit it out loud, but somewhere in the back of their minds, many men have this irrational fear: a vibrator does a better job than they do. Because of this, for some, vibrators and other sex toys feel threatening. But they shouldn’t. Sex toys don’t put a dent in

your masculinity or one-up your lovemaking skills. This is not an either/or choice or a contest. Besides, a vibrator doesn’t keep her warm at night, take her to dinner, or fix things around the house!

5. If we have to use a toy, then something’s wrong.
If a person feels threatened by sex toys, he may believe that his partner’s desire for a toy is a not-so-subtle comment on his skill as a lover. When I worked at a sex toy store, I often met customers who resisted buying a toy by saying, “I can satisfy my partner just fine on my own— I don’t need any help.” Using a toy is not about compensating for your short- comings (or someone else’s); it’s about bringing something new into the mix to enhance sex.

For people who have gotten past the myths—and recognize that sex toys can be an incredible way to explore new dimensions of partnered and solo sex—there’s just one not-so-small problem: How and what do you choose?

I wrote this book as a way to introduce people to all the different types of sex toys, and their style, form, and function. Not only is it a guidebook, but it also offers my recommendations for top toys in each category. Plus, there’s advice about how to use different toys, acces- sories, and products to inspire, expand, and enhance your sex life. I’ve also included general prices, although do keep in mind that price may vary depending on where you buy.

Just as technology has revolutionized our everyday lives, I believe sex toys have the potential to transform our sex lives. I hope this book inspires you to join the revolution!

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Use Sex Toys to Turn Up the Excitement!

Are you looking to take your sex life from everyday to extraordinary? The Big Book of Sex Toys covers the hottest hardware for taking your sex life to the next level. Whether you’re looking to liven up solo sex, hit hot spots more easily, give your partner new sensations or add new twists to classic positions, inside you’ll find every toy imaginable from mild to wild.

Inside, you’ll find:

—Wearable vibrators that give you a buzz all day long

—Double-ended dildos that give simultaneous penetration for him and her

—Sex furniture and swing-sets that make your bedroom the ultimate playground

—Fun accoutrements that put the sizzle in sensation play

Sexy photos take the guesswork out how to integrate toys with positions, oral sex, and hand moves as well as how to get in and out of strap-ons, slings, and swings like a pro. Renowned author, sex expert, and adult film director Tristan Taormino has put together the ultimate guide to choosing, buying, and getting the most sexual satisfaction from your sex toys. Whether you’re a curious novice or an advanced aficionado, The Big Book of Sex Toys offers recommendations and advice for the top toys in every category from vibrators to butt plugs to bondage and tells you everything you need to know but were too shy to ask.

Does it exist? There’s no better way to find out then by trying this exercise from The Daily Sex Bible that will help you locate the g-spot!

Questing for G-Spots, His and Hers

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Interestingly, the debate on whether her G-spot exists rages on—while the conventional wisdom acknowledges his. Men, no excuses: Look for it.

How to find her g-Spot (and What to Do When you have)

Thousands of years ago, the authors of the Kama Sutra wrote about the G-spot. Rediscovered in modern times, the G-spot is a small mass of rough tissue about a third of the way up the front vaginal wall. In some women, it swells when stimulated and produces orgasm.


Take your hand, palm up, to the opening of her vagina. Insert two fingers and make the “come hither” gesture. Do you feel a difference in the texture of the skin? Stroke it with your finger, tap on it with a finger pad, or use a special G-spot vibe on it.

How to find his g-Spot (and What to Do When you have)

His G-spot is located inside the body behind the perineum. You can reach it in two ways: by pressing the perineum with your thumb or finger, and by inserting a finger into his anus and using the same “come hither” gesture that he used in your vagina. 

Stroking the perineum from the inside can drive some men wild—and does nothing for others. Likewise, pressing your thumb into his perineum may induce orgasm/ejaculation—or not.

G-spots—not an exact science. But when they work, they really work.

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We’ve all had some troubling experiences with sex. We’ve all had some “meh” moments. But think hard. Tell us what your favorite sexcapade has been. This exercise from Sex: An Erotic Journal will get you in the mood to relive the best sex you’ve ever had.

My Perfect Sexperience

Have you ever experienced a sexual encounter that was just absolutely perfect?
Use a notebooks and this attached page to uncover the ingredients of your most blissful sexperience.
Think back to a sexual encounter (or encounters) that left your toes tingling and knees quaking—the type of experience that you couldn’t stop replaying in your mind the next day while making copies at work, the
type of experience that you still think about while masturbating.
What made this experience stand out?

Who was there?

What happened? 

Have you ever felt anything like it again?

If not, why not? 

Is there any way to have this type of experience again?

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Use Margaret Hurst’s gorgeous drawings to inspire you to write down your deepest sexual thoughts.

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One of my favorite TV lines about lack of knowledge for the big C, is from Californication (the pilot episode I think).

Don’t be “K-Fed.” Educate yo-self.

Be the Clit Commander

Think that the clitoris is just a teeny tiny little nub that pokes out from the upper part of her vulva? Think again. Traditional viewpoints hold that the clitoris has only four parts (the glans, the shaft, the crura, and the vestibular bulbs). However, the Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers (FFWHCs), founded by Carol Downer, undertook extensive hands-on vulva research in the 1970s and determined that there are at least eighteen parts to the clitoris. 3 Modern-day sex educators echo this finding. In a 2004 interview with Paul Ford of The Morning News, Dr. Ian Kerner says about the clit, “It’s the pleasure dome. You set one nerve moving and they all start moving. The clitoris has 18 separate parts that contribute to the experience of pleasure, twice as many nerve fibers as the penis (over 8,000), the uncanny ability to produce multiple orgasms and no known purpose other than pleasure.”

Gentlemen, it’s time to stop thinking of the clitoris as just a small but sensitive part of her pussy and start thinking of it as a fully developed organ that is as large (it can measure up to 8 inches [about 20 centimeters] in length from commissure to fourchette) and perhaps more complex than your penis.

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The Parts That Make Her Go Mmm

So what are these eighteen parts of the clitoris and what should you know about them? Here’s an overview of all the pieces that add up to pleasure with a capital P.

1. The COMMISSURE is located at the top of her vulva, where the smooth flesh meets the fuzzy flesh of her outer lips. Applying light pressure to this area can be a great place to start indirectly stimulating the clitoral glans. When masturbating, some women will place a finger in this spot and press down or massage it in small circles. Try touching her here during your voyage and see how she responds.

2. From the commissure, travel down about 1⁄2 an inch to 1 inch (1.3 to 2.5 centimeters) to the CLITORAL HOOD. This small flap of skin covers the clitoral glans and is analogous to your foreskin (that is, if you’re uncircumcised). A soft upward stroke with a fingertip or flick of the tongue is a nice way to introduce yourself to this morsel of flesh.

3. Just beneath the hood you’ll find the CLITORAL GLANS, or the one part of the clitoris that you are likely already familiar with. The glans is somewhat analogous to the head of your penis (in fact, the two develop from the same cells in the womb). When she is excited, the glans will expand to about twice its original size and protrude from beneath the hood. When she is very near orgasm, the glans will retract once more beneath the hood.

The focal point of her clitoral orgasm, the glans is highly sensitive. Some women like direct stimulation of the nub, while others prefer you to approach this spot a little more delicately, and often indirectly, especially if your approach involves your fingertips (rather than your tongue or the thrilling meeting of your pubis to her clitoris).

4. The FRENULUM is a bit of connective tissue that joins the clitoral glans to the edge of the inner labia. You have a frenulum, too—it’s that sensitive strip of tissue that joins your penis head to your shaft on the underside of your cock. Like yours, hers is very sensitive and may respond well to a warm, wet lick.

5. Just beneath the surface of the glans and extending back up toward the commissure, you will feel a 1⁄2 to 1-inch (1.3- to 2.5-centimeter) column of flesh called the CLITORAL SHAFT. This is actually a piece of erectile tissue that expands when she’s excited. Try rolling or gently pinching the shaft while your lady is in the throes of excitement—this is a nice way to indirectly stimulate the nerve-packed glans. Some women find that one side of the shaft is more sensitive to touch than the other—all the more reason to give your girl a close-up examination to determine whether she’s a righty or a lefty.

6. The clitoral shaft forks into two legs called the CRURA, which travel back down the vulva just beneath her inner labia. This wishbone-shaped area is also made of erectile tissue. In effect, the crura hug the entrance to the vagina and may explain why women often report enjoying the feeling of being “stretched open” by a particularly fat cock, your splayed fingers, or a fun toy. The stretch ensures contact with the legs of her clitoris. Don’t overlook this area during your oral ministrations: Several nice, long licks along the crura can be a delightful feeling, indeed.

7. The INNER LABIA (LABIA MINORA) are morsels of girly flesh that are highly sensitive to pleasure. When she is excited, the inner labia will swell, and as she approaches orgasm, the color will noticeably darken. These friends can clue you in to how excited your partner really is. A long, loving lick, a gentle tug, a tender massage, or tenderly pinching and rubbing them together—these are all ways to excite and arouse her labia.

8. The G-SPOT is a bit of female anatomy named after Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg, a gynecologist who first related the area to sexual pleasure. 5 The G-spot is located about 1–3 inches (2.5–7.6 centimeters) inside the vagina, along the upper side, toward the front of her body, and its texture differs from the surrounding tissue. It is the back of her clitoris and the focal point of her Urethral Sponge. (The urethral sponge is made of spongy erectile tissue that wraps around the Urethra, or the tiny hole just below the clitoral head where her urine passes through). The G-spot varies in size from woman to woman—some have a spot the size of a fingertip while others have a G-area closer to the size of a half-dollar coin. No matter the size, as the back of the nerve-rich clitoris, this area has a high density of nerve endings, and attention to this spot can lead to orgasm for some women. Other women aren’t as sensitive—you’ll have to experiment with yours to find out how much stimulation she likes. You can manipulate the G-spot effectively with your fingers, a sex toy, or your penis. You will feel the area become ridged, or erect, as she approaches her orgasm.

9. Embedded in the tissue of the urethral sponge and G-spot are the PARAURETHRAL GLANDS, which are linked to production of alkaline fluids. The largest of these are the Skene’s glands, located near the urethral opening and believed to be the source of the fluid produced during female ejaculation.

10. The FOURCHETTE is the fork at the lower-most point of her clitoral tissue, where it meets the perineum. This spot can be a powerhouse of sexual response. Try inserting your finger (to the first knuckle) into her vaginal opening, with the pad of your finger facing down. Gently press down toward her anus, then stroke from side to side. A firm press of your tongue can also illicit a sexy response.

11. The PERINEAL SPONGE is located inside the bottom portion of her vaginal opening, just past the fourchette and behind the perineum. Like the urethral sponge, this is a spongy cluster of erectile tissue that becomes ridged during heightened sexual response and is responsive to your touch.

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To go deeper into the anatomy of the Vajay, check out the book:

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Sometimes sex just doesn’t go according to plan. After all, we’re only humans with working parts that aren’t always working the way we want them to. Emily Dubberley has some advice for those who might be facing a very common problem.

Wait For It: Delayed Ejaculation

Many males suffer from delayed ejaculation. This is a common side effect of certain medications, including many antidepressants. In addition, stress, nervousness, tiredness, alcohol, and recreational drugs can cause delayed climax. As such, this condition tends to affect a vast number of men at some point in their lives.

If the female scholar is approached by a male in a state of inebriation or under the influence of drugs, it is best to avoid congress, not only because the risk of delayed ejaculation is high, but also because the experience is likely to be lacking in fulfillment. Further, it is unlikely that the male will be able to accurately gauge his true levels of attraction toward the female (see Beyond the Beer Goggles: An Analysis of Morning-After Misery, by Dr. Neve Agayne).

If, however, the problem becomes apparent in a sober man once sexual contact has been initiated, there are various approaches to take. First, do not draw attention to the issue. While honesty is an important part of sexual communication, knowing when to stay silent is equally important. Additional stress is only likely to heighten the problem. Instead, you have various options.

You can employ the techniques recommended for an insensitive or highly insensitive penis in the oral-genital and manual stimulation chapters of this book. Remember that lubricant is essential for prolonged stimulation of the genital region to guard against chafing.

Alternatively, you can take a more cerebral approach and distract the male from the issue at hand by reading him an erotic story or watching an adult film together. Should you lack access to either of these, a striptease or masturbation show can have a similar, if not more intense, effect.

And of course, there’s no reason that congress has to conclude with climax for both parties. While it is desirable, in general, for both the male and the female to reach climax, joy can also be gained through selflessly pleasuring a partner. If male ejaculation seems unlikely, it is the optimum time to ask for a massage, as the gentleman is more likely to focus on the job at hand rather than prodding the female in the back with an engorged member.

Above all, the female should ensure that she maintains a healthy sense of self-esteem. Delayed ejaculation is no indication that a partner has lost desire: it’s simply a symptom of modern life. (Pin it, baby!)

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